


Chocolate Roses

by FreeTheSoul



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Series AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-12 22:36:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3357791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreeTheSoul/pseuds/FreeTheSoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And when Jude realized he had a crush on Ludger, it would become a very long week.</p><p>More of a G/T, the T rating is only there because of some short kisses.</p><p>Happy Valentines!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chocolate Roses

**Author's Note:**

> this fic itself doesnt hold any spoilers (maybe some implications, but nothing that you need to worry about if you havent finished it), but ill do some tox2-spoilerific explaining here in the notes for people who have already finished it and want a bit of explanation behind it all  
> this is placed sometime post-game, essentially the ideal happy ending where julius, elle, ludger, etc didnt die (bakur is excepted; i think ludger is probably head of spirius right now). id say this is probably placed a year or two (probably two, because otherwise jude being a minor makes me...) after the game, but alas.
> 
> anyway, enjoy!
> 
> EDIT 6/20/15 - yeesh, ive edited this a few times, but i just now realized how many revisions ive done to this thing. let this be a lesson to never hammer out both the draft and final copy of (what was originally) a 6969 word fic in a 24 hour timespan because you want to post it on a certain date but youre bad at planning ahead.

 Jude sighed.

 A few minutes passed, before he sighed again.

 Jude probably would’ve spent the entire day sighing and staring out the window of his office if Balan hadn’t decided to walk by, rousing Jude by tapping the desk with his fingers as he passed.

 “Oh, Jude, what _is_ the matter? You’ve been staring out that window sighing like a schoolgirl in love for the last, oh, twenty minutes.” He raised an eyebrow as he spoke, somewhat concerned by the lack of work that was getting done.

 Jude jolted up at the words “in love”, giving Balan a rather shocked look. After returning a wide-eyed look himself, Balan grinned at the reaction, taking the ripe opportunity to dig deeper.

 “Ah, I was right! Tell me, who is it?”

 Jude sighed, looking back down at his desk and, unsuccessfully, silently willed Balan to leave him be. After a few quiet moments, Jude finally spoke up. “It’s not… I mean, um, maybe, but…”

 Balan made a rather bored-sounding “Hmm” and mumbled something that sounded like “This again”. The answer had obviously been not as exciting as he’d hoped. Giving Jude a decidedly less interested look than he had before, Balan spoke up drily.

 “Ah, I see. Troubles with Milla again, huh?”

 Jude shifted his weight uncomfortably and looked around, checking that the office was empty before he spoke. “No! No, nothing like… like that. We’re just friends. I don't know why everyone is convinced we're..." He trailed off into a mumble. There was a pause, and Jude himself wasn't even quite certain what made him continue. "It’s, um, someone… else.”

 He wasn’t quite sure what had possessed him to admit this to Balan, but he _was_ sure that he regretted it.

 Balan perked up rather noticeably at this, his interest obviously piqued. Swinging around, he sat himself on the ledge of Jude’s desk. “Oh… _Oh._ ” He gave a mischievous sort of smile, and Jude swore that he could feel his stomach physically knotting itself together.

 “So, tell me, who is it?”

 Jude grumbled, looking down at his feet. “Yeah, right, as if I’d tell you his na–“ Jude cut himself off with a cough. His hopes that Balan hadn’t heard that last bit were dashed when he spotted the surprised look on Balan's face.

 “Oh, my. A guy, huh? Hmm…” Balan trailed off in thought, staring out the window with a serious sort of look. Jude felt his stomach flip, praying that Balan didn’t manage to guess who it was. All considered, Jude really didn’t have a huge number of friends, not to mention ones who were _men_ , so he doubted it would be hard for Balan to figure it out…

 “Huh… It wouldn’t be me, would it?” Balan cracked a grin.

 Jude shot him a nasty look, “Yeah, uh-huh.”

 “Oh, don’t give me that! I’m hurt,” Balan laughed, before his face returned to a serious expression. “…So, really, you’re not going to tell me who this mystery man is?”

Jude looked back down at his feet, studying the shine on his shoes. “Mm.”

 Balan paused, sighing. “Fine, fine. Fair enough. So…” He trailed off, Jude looking back up to him before he continued, “…does he know that Professor Jude has a crush on him? Have you told him anything?”

 Jude rolled his eyes, “Don’t call me that.” He paused before saying anything else, his voice quiet. “But… um, not really? N-no.”

“Ah?”

 Jude bit his lip, “I… I’m pretty sure he just thinks that we’re friends.”

 Balan paused, giving Jude a rather pitying look. “…Oh, dear. Isn’t that a predicament.”

 Jude frowned, looking up at him. “Jeez, thanks for the words of wisdom.”

 “Mmm.” After a pause, Balan got up from Jude’s desk, walking slowly to the exit. As he reached the doorway, Balan stopped, not even turning to look at Jude as he spoke up. “Well, I think you should still tell him. Who knows, maybe things will work out.”

 Balan walked out a few moments later, waving farewell behind him to Jude, who simply snorted and looked back to his long-abandoned stack of papers.

 The room was silent for several minutes as Jude worked through his thoughts, before he suddenly sprang to his feet and snatched up his phone. Jude ran out the door without so much as a glance to the papers that had fallen to ground when he’d jumped up so suddenly.

 He ran out of the room, punching in Ludger’s number as he went. He passed Balan standing in the hallway talking to someone, yelling a “Thanks!” as he rushed past him. Surprised, Balan turned, smiling as he watched Jude go running down the stairs.

 Halfway down the second flight of stairs, Jude realized he had no idea where he was going. Ludger’s number was dialed into his phone, waiting for Jude to press the “call” button, but what was he going to say to him? Tell him “I think I have a crush on you” completely out of the blue, over the phone? Not likely. He looked around, seeing the door to one of the less-used labs a few feet away, and he slowly walked over and opened it up.

 Peering in, he was thankful to see that no one was inside. It seemed like it wasn’t in frequent use anymore, which was perfect. After letting the door shut behind him, Jude stepped in tentatively, leaning against the wall and staring at his phone for a good few minutes. Squeezing his eyes shut, Jude finally pressed call.

 The phone rang a few times, Jude’s heart sinking as he realized that maybe Ludger wasn’t going to pick up. On the third ring, however, he was met with a crackling sound and a familiar voice.

 “Hello? Jude?”

Jude felt his mouth go dry, his mind completely blank as he realized he’d forgotten what he wanted to say.

 “Jude?”

 Suddenly, Jude snapped out of it. “O-oh, uh, sorry about that, Ludger,” He paused again, collecting his thoughts while Ludger spoke.

 “No problem. What do you need?”

 Jude bit his lip, gulping. “U-um, I was just… I was just wondering, would you like to go out for a bite to eat with… with me, sometime? Next Saturday, m-maybe?”

 There was a long pause, Jude feeling his cheeks redden and his heart thumping as he waited, hoping Ludger hadn’t noticed the shake in his voice.

 “Um… Yeah, sure. I’m free, is… it for something important?”

 Jude went pale, his mouth drying up again. Ludger's tone sounded so flat to him, Jude couldn't help but think this was just some kind of annoyance to him. “U-uh, no… I just t-thought that maybe we could… Er, that you might appreciate a break from all your work. Ahah?” He laughed hoarsely, praying that Ludger didn’t notice how uncomfortable his laugh sounded. What the hell was he even _saying?_

 Ludger paused again, taking a few moments to reply.

 “Uh… Y-yeah, sure thing. That sounds fine… Do you want me to, um, pick you up?”

 Jude jumped a bit, ramming his foot into a heavy box and biting down hard on his lip to avoid making a sound about it. “Oh, um, n-no, I’ll meet you at your apartment! I-is six fine?”

 “Six… six is fine, yeah,” A pause, “So, uh, I’ll see you then?”

 Jude nodded, forgetting that nodding while you were on the phone was a completely pointless thing to do. “Yeah, um, see you… see you then.”

 With a _blip_ they disconnected, Jude shakily bringing the phone down from his ear and staring at it as he slid down the wall. His chest felt tight and he was entirely out of breath; Jude couldn't help but imagine this was what it felt like to run a marathon.

Ludger, alone in his office, stared at the phone for a few moments after Jude had hung up. Putting it down slowly, he stared ahead of him in silence for a few seconds before spinning his chair around and jumping up to his feet, fist-pumping and yelling “Yes!” loud enough to summon a rather concerned guard.

 Jude picked himself back up from the floor after a few silent minutes, rubbing his cold, sore back. Making his way back up to his own office. Balan was nowhere to be seen this time, but perhaps it was for the better that he wasn’t around to bug him.

 After he sat down in his chair and did nothing but stare at the wall for a very long time, he pulled up a calendar, making a note on the day of their date. He was about to toss it back off to the side when he froze, turning back to look at it. Next Saturday was… _was…_

“ _Valentine’s Day?!_ ” Ludger exclaimed, having just made the very same discovery. He froze, staring at the calendar he’d pulled up. Had Jude done this on purpose? Had Jude really asked him out for a date on _Valentine’s Day?!_ He felt tempted to call him, to make sure he’d heard it right, but he didn’t want Jude to think he had cold feet…

 …Jude stared at his phone, debating whether or not he should tell Ludger he’d messed up the date, or something. But if Ludger had already figured out what day Saturday was, then... Jude would practically be abandoning all hopes of the two of them getting together. But… Ludger thought of them as friends, didn’t he? Wouldn’t it be less awkward if they didn’t go out _then?_

 Tossing his phone to the side, Jude grumbled and stared out the window. He supposed he’d just have to live with his mistake, and see where it led him. He had no doubts it would be a disastrous night, but… Jude sighed.

\--

 The following day, after Jude had finished work early and was walking through Trigleph, Leia found him in the street staring up at the Spirius Corporation building.

 “ _Juuude!_ Hey, Jude! There you are!”

 Jude turned at her cries, smiling when he saw Leia jogging up to him.

 “Oh, hey Leia–“

 She cut him off, pouting and putting her hands on her hips. “What, you get a day off, and you don’t even come to say hi to me?”

“Um, what?” Jude couldn’t see why she’d be upset about that. It wasn’t as if they’d arranged to meet, or anything.

“Well, y’know I’m working in Trigleph right now!” She grinned, “Hey, are you hungry? I was just going to grab some grub, but you can come if you want!”

 It was true, Leia had been working on an article about Spirius recently. They didn’t see each other all that frequently anymore, either, since work kept them both busy, so maybe he was a bit at fault for not saying hi to her when he had the chance.

 “Er… Sure, I guess? I haven’t eaten for a while, so I don’t see why not.” Jude shrugged, “But, hey, don’t make me pay for you again this time! You can’t just run off after some scoop and expect me to pay for your food!”

 Leia grinned, sticking out her tongue at him. “Fine, fine. Here, you wait right over here, I’ll bring back some stuff for us! I’ll even pay for you this time, and then we’ll be even, right?”

 Jude shrugged, content enough with this deal. After standing there and watching her run off, he walked over to one of the benches, plunking his bag down with a sigh of relief.

 Leia returned soon enough with some hot dogs she’d gotten from a street vendor, passing one off to Jude. She dug happily into hers, chattering away about all the great scoops she’d gotten and how good her recent articles had been, but Jude didn’t feel hungry enough to do more than pick at his food as he half-listened to her babble.

 “Hey, hey, if you’re not gonna eat that, I will!” Leia broke into Jude’s thoughts sharply, and he jolted a little.

 “Uh… Yeah, sure, you can have it.” He passed it off to her, half-smiling at the glee on her face as he returned to his thoughts. Leia paused to look at him as she moved to bite into his food.

 “Heeeey, hey, is something up?” She tilted her head to look at Jude, who returned the look with a frown.

 “What? Uh, no, nothing’s up.”

 Leia pouted, putting her food down. “No, no, something’s up! I mean, you can be kinda spacey sometimes, but you’re thinking about something big this time, huh?”

 Jude couldn't resist the urge to shiver a bit, unnerved by how well she knew him. “No..?”

 Leia flicked his arm, “A journalist’s instinct is never wrong! Well, okay, sometimes, but _this_ time it’s not! Something’s up, huh? What is it? Tell me. Tell me!”

 Jude sighed, rubbing where she’d flicked him. “Well…” He looked down, “…I have a date this weekend.”

 Leia blinked, unable to process this for a moment. “Whoa, really? Man, that’s a shocker. Who’s it with?”

 Jude shook his head, frowning and ignoring her gibe. He’d been about to deny her question when he spotted Ludger exiting the Spirius building with Julius out of the corner of his eye and promptly ducked his head down.

 Leia looked around, surprised at his sudden movement. “Huh?” She turned her head around to look in the direction Jude had been looking, her eyes going wide as she spotted Ludger. Whether it was her so-called "journalist's instinct" working its magic or not, she quickly pieced things together. “Wait, no way! You’re going out on a date with _Ludger?_ ”

 Jude’s face burned, but he nodded solemnly. “Y-yeah, I called him yesterday…”

 Suddenly, Jude was interrupted by a familiar voice behind him.

 “ _Heeey_ , Leia, then don’t you owe me some gald?”

 Jude jumped up, making an odd sort of squawk in surprise. Spinning around, he realized Alvin had appeared behind him.

 “A-Alvin! Don’t do that!” Jude sat back down shakily, glaring at him.

 Alvin grinned, “Fine, fine, sorry.” Leaning against a nearby tree, Alvin turned back to Leia. “What was our bet, again…?”

 Leia twisted her lip, pouting as she pulled out a change purse. Her voice sounded defeated. “A thousand gald to whoever was right…” Pulling out a handful of change, she dumped it into Alvin’s outstretched palms.

 “Thank you for the business, milady.” He bowed dramatically, coming back up with a grin as he absorbed himself in gleefully counting the coins.

 Jude was utterly lost by this entire interaction. He took a few glances between the uncharacteristically cheery Alvin and sour Leia, and was about to speak up when Alvin poured the glad into a pocket, turning back to Leia.

 “You were short fifty?”

 She frowned, expertly flicking a coin at Alvin that struck him square in the forehead. He cringed, rubbing the spot, before sliding the last coin into his pocket and turning back to Jude.

 “So, what’s this about a date with Ludger?”

 Jude huffed, turning to shoot him a glare. “Just how long were you _listening_ to us?” He was met with a nonchalant shrug and Jude turned back to look at the ground, his scowl softening. “Well… Yesterday, I called him and asked him if he wanted to go out to get a bite to eat on Saturday, and he said yes… But… I don’t really think he likes me. Like, _like_ -likes me.”

 Leia and Alvin exchanged glances as Jude continued.

 “And, to make it worse, I forgot that Saturday is _Valentine’s!_ But I can’t… I can’t _cancel_ on him, because I don’t want to screw this up, but I don’t want to make him uncomfortable…” Jude trailed off, Alvin placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

 “Well, I’d say you go with it. Who knows, right? Maybe it’ll work out.” Alvin smiled, and Jude couldn’t help but recall Balan saying practically the same thing.

 Leia piped up, “Yeah, exactly! Besides, if you cancel, maybe you’d lose your chance, y’know?”

 As Alvin pulled his hand away, Jude stood up and gave them both a smile. “Y-yeah… Thanks, guys, I guess. I should really get going, though…” He bent down to pick up his bag, ignoring the hurt look they both gave him about the “I guess”.

 Alvin and Leia waved goodbye, Jude thanking Leia for the food, before leaving the two of them to bicker about… whatever they were bickering about this time.

\--

 Julius reached up, ruffling his brother’s hair suddenly. “Hey, Ludger!”

 Ludger blinked, turning to Julius with widened eyes. The two of them were leaving the Spirius building on their way to get something to eat, and Ludger had been preoccupied with his thoughts while Julius rattled on about their recent work. Julius sighed at the look Ludger gave him, raising an eyebrow.

 “What’s up with you? You’ve been thinking about something all day, and you aren’t going to get any work done like this.”

 Ludger was quiet as they walked through to the exit, nodding to the guard who saluted as he passed. After Julius realized that Ludger wouldn’t be confessing anything, he sighed and spoke up again.

 “Ludger, if you don’t want to tell me I won’t try to pry, but if it’s something serious I don’t want you keeping it a secret from me.”

 Ludger nodded silently, fully aware of the promise they’d made to stop keeping big secrets from each other. It wasn’t like it was anything… _serious_ , at least not in the way Julius meant, but it was a little embarrassing to admit that he was so distracted because of some silly date he had with Jude. He didn’t even think Jude had meant it romantically, maybe he really _did_ just want to give Ludger a break from his job, although the fact that it was on Valentine’s still nagged at him.

 The fresh, outside air hit the two of them in the face as they exited, the warm sunlight a pleasant change from the cool, somewhat stifled interior of the Spirius building. Blinking a few times to adjust, Ludger looked around at the busy streets as he walked down the steps beside Julius, stopping with a jolt as he spotted Leia and Jude sitting together on a bench.

 Julius turned to him with a concerned frown, about to voice a question when he followed Ludger’s gaze, spotting Jude and closing his mouth. As the two of them resumed walking, Ludger perhaps moving a bit faster than he had before, Julius spoke up.

 “Is it something with Jude?” He turned to his brother, Ludger stopping to scratch at his cheek nervously.

 “U-um…”

 Julius sighed. “Don’t play dumb. You’ve already told me about that crush you have on him, remember? Jeez, you could’ve said something, and I wouldn’t have gotten so worried.”

 Ludger sighed, immediately defeated. Julius could read him like a book, so he didn’t know why he’d bothered to try and bluff his way out of it. They resumed walking, and for a few moments Ludger thought that perhaps Julius had given up on trying to pursue the topic, but his hopes were dashed when Julius spoke up once more.

 “So, did you tell him something?” Julius peered curiously at his brother, who rubbed his neck.

 “Um, well, no.” He paused, “Yesterday, he called me, asking if I wanted to go out to eat with him this weekend… But, well… thing is, he asked me to go out on Valentine’s.”

 Julius raised an eyebrow, surprised. “Well, that’s an impressive first move if I’ve ever heard of one.”

 Ludger waved his hands in front of his face frantically, in an almost comical fashion. “U-uh, but, I don’t know if he meant it romantically. I mean, I really don’t think Jude has a crush on me or anything, and he made it sound like he just wanted to give me a break from work… Look, I don’t even know if he _meant_ for it to be on Valentine’s, since he only said “on Saturday”.”

 Julius paused, mulling this over, before giving his brother a look. “Okay, Ludger, tell me, has he called you back to cancel or change the date?”

 Ludger shook his head, “No, of course not.”

 Julius rubbed at his face, somewhat concerned by how hopeless his brother was. “So, even if it was a mistake at first, that means he doesn’t want to change it, right?”

 Ludger blinked. He really hadn’t thought about it like that, to be entirely honest. “Well… I guess, yeah. So, does that mean he _does_ mean it romantically?”

 Julius thought about this for a few seconds, before he gave up and shrugged. “Really, I can’t say. It still could be a mistake, and he just doesn’t want to make things awkward by making a point out of it.”

 “So..?”

 “So… I’d let the evening take its course before you try anything, but if things are looking good, then there’s probably hope.” Julius smiled before he turned back to the street, leaving Ludger to sift through his thoughts. It was pretty strange to be getting romantic advice from his brother, but Ludger had to admit that he’d been helpful.

\--

 After the excruciatingly long week passed, where both men were equally as consumed by the approaching date, the weekend had arrived.

 Jude hadn’t gotten as much sleep as he no doubt should have the previous night, too nervous about his date with Ludger to sleep until he finally tired himself out enough worrying about it that he fell asleep.

 Considering it was the weekend, and he’d told Balan he wouldn’t be coming in to work that day, he had little to do all day other than fret. He’d said he’d meet Ludger at six, meaning he had several hours to do… nothing. Several of these he spent trying to get some work done on the papers he’d brought home, but he just couldn’t find it in him to concentrate. The rest of the time was divided between making constant adjustments to the outfit he’d chosen and debating on whether or not he should bring some kind of gift. A frantic phone call to Leia and the resulting speech on capitalism was the only thing that prevented him from going out and buying something ridiculously extravagant.

 When it was finally the time for him to leave, after he’d spent no less than an hour touching up his hair, Jude had left his apartment fully convinced that he was prepared for whatever this night would throw at him.

\--

 Ludger had been watching the window out onto the street for a good half-hour when he saw Jude approaching, immediately spinning around to look at Julius, who’d been sitting on the couch reading while Elle played with Rollo. The moment Julius saw Ludger’s face, he put down his book and got up, smiling reassuringly.

 “He’s down there?”

 Ludger nodded, feeling like he might break out into a cold sweat any moment now.

 Julius walked up to Ludger, readjusting his brother's tie with a sigh. “Really, you need to learn how to properly do this by yourself… There we go,” Julius looked back to his brother, patting him on the shoulder. “You’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.”

 The smile Ludger returned him was perhaps more forced than anything, but Julius ignored it. “Oh, one last thing. Me and Elle are going out a bit later tonight, so the room will probably be empty when you get back.” He winked, Ludger simply sticking out his tongue and making a face at his brother as he turned around to leave. Elle hopped up and saying goodbye as Ludger passed her, taking a moment to ruffle her hair, ignoring the subsequent squeak of complaint.

 The door shut itself behind him quietly and, after steeling himself on the walk down to the first floor, he made it to the entrance of the building where Jude waited patiently. They exchanged awkward greetings before they headed out, Jude leading the way a foot or so in front of Ludger.

 Their walk was in silence, apparently both having forgotten how to start a conversation, but fortunately the restaurant Jude chose was close enough to Ludger’s apartment that the walk took little time. They got there early enough, their waiter walking up and giving the two of them a knowing kind of look as he saw the two of them standing side-by-side, all dressed up. Spotting it, Jude waved his hands in front of his face and insisted that they’re not there on a date, or anything like that, which only makes Ludger’s stomach knot.

 Their dinner didn’t start out too badly, although neither of them spoke much. At one point, Jude somehow knocked his knife off of the table, making a nervous sound and apologizing profusely to Ludger as he bent down to pick it up. Unfortunately, he also managed to hit his head on the way back up, coming up with a face flushed red. Ludger couldn’t help but smile at the display, giving a poor attempt at hiding it by pressing his lips together, averting his eyes, and preoccupying himself with tracing the rim of his water glass. Jude, himself, busied himself by becoming perhaps a bit _too_ absorbed in ensuring that his silverware was as neat as possible.

 Finally, and after what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence, the waiter arrived with their meals. They each thanked him quietly as he left, however they were both equally as shocked to discover what had happened around them while they’d been busy staring at the table.

 The restaurant had become _full_ of couples. Jude, looking around, didn’t think there was a single table left that didn’t have people giving each other bedroom eyes. Quickly, Jude averted his eyes and looked back down at his food, focusing on slicing away, and missing the odd sort of wistful expression that has settled on Ludger’s face. Quietly, and a few moments after Jude, he followed in slicing into his meal, but not before giving Jude a sad look.

 They didn’t talk much over dinner, but neither of them were very hungry, either. Ludger was the first to speak up, desperately trying to mend their night.

 “Um… So, how’s your work?” Ludger cringed, wishing that he hadn’t sounded so forced.

 Jude paused, looking up at him. He was thankful for Ludger giving a prompt to conversation. “Well… We haven’t really had any breakthroughs, recently. I think we’re stuck again, and I’m running out of funds…” He sighed in frustration, cutting angrily at his food before remembering his manners. “Oh, but, what about you? How has Spirius been?”

 Ludger looked a little surprised at the question, shuffling his feet. “Well… same old, same old, you know? It’s very busy, but I _am_ glad to be working with Julius. It's still a little strange to be his superior, though.” He smiled weakly at Jude, who nodded in sympathy. The two of them returned their gazes to the table, each sensing that the conversation had reached its limits.

 Jude silently cursed his apparent inability to salvage any of this, wondering why this had to be so… so awkward. But, maybe that was his fault, for forcing Ludger into something like this. Maybe Ludger just didn’t want to be anything more than friends, and Jude had just gone and made a colossal mistake. He’d been so preoccupied by these thoughts that he didn't notice that Ludger had been saying his name for a while now, suddenly snapping out of it when he felt Ludger brush his hand softly.

 “Jude? Are you alright?”

 Jude started back, knocking the table with his knee slightly. Ludger gave a shocked look as he swiftly pulled his hand back. From the looks of it, Jude had gone and attracted the attention of everyone else seated in that general area of the restaurant, too.

 As the two of them relaxed, the people around them returned to their conversations, his fit forgotten in a moment. Ludger’s eyes were downcast, Jude watching him with a sad look, on the verge of saying something when he refrained and Ludger spoke instead.

 “I, um, I’m sorry for scaring you. You looked… upset, and I was concerned when you weren’t replying, but I didn’t mean to overstep.” Ludger’s voice was a mumble, and Jude felt a pang in his chest.

 Jude took a moment before he replied, shaking his head and smiling sadly. “No, I’m fine. I’m sorry for worrying you, I just… zoned out for a moment.”

 The silence returned, the two of them stewing in guilt before Jude quietly stood up.

 “I… I think I just need to go get some air. I’m sorry,”

 Jude left quickly, Ludger sadly watching him go. He moved to say something, but instead refrained and pulled out his wallet.

 Outside, Jude had settled down on a bench, huddling against the side as he tried not to let the cold air bite into his skin. He stared out into the dark, snowy street, watching the happy couples walking by with a sad look on his face as he worked through his thoughts. His misgivings had been right - this  _had_ been a disaster.

 Ludger was too nice. He shouldn’t be trying to wrap him up into whatever weird love fantasies he might have, especially not when they’ve always been fine as friends.

 "Friends," He quietly mumbled the word to himself, but was startled to his feet when the door opened beside him.

 “Jude?” Ludger called his name softly, looking around briefly before he spotted him and a familiar smile spread over his face. “Ah, there you are.”

 Jude weakly returned the smile as Ludger turned his gaze to the snowy street. The two of them stood there for a few moments, watching the snow softly falling, before Ludger spoke up again.

 “I… um, I shouldn’t have gone and touched your hand like that. I’m really sorry for startling you.”

 Jude couldn't help but notice the overwhelmingly sad undertone to Ludger’s words, speaking up immediately.

 “No, really, it wasn’t your fault. I overreacted, and I’m sorry for making such a fuss about all… all this.”

 Ludger turned toward him, almost looking like he was about to say something meaningful. Instead, however, he let out an exclamation.

 “Ah, Jude! You’re practically turning blue!”

 Jude was stunned for a moment at the unexpected interjection, unable to immediately respond. “O-oh, um, no, I’m fine! It’s not even that cold out here,” He let out a forced laugh, cringing at himself.

 “No, you’re not! Even _I’m_ cold, and I’m not the one who apparently forgot his jacket!” Ludger had already started pulling his own jacket off, Jude too stunned to react before Ludger had it draped over his shoulders.

 Jude felt his face flush, hiding his face in the neck of the coat, noticing that there was a… pleasant sort of smell to it. He'd noticed that smell earlier, too. He figured it was probably whatever kind of shampoo Ludger used... it smelled nice, he thought. He was still enveloped in this when Ludger spoke up again.

 “Well, you can’t go out like this… Why don’t we head back to my apartment, so you can warm up with some t… tea?” Ludger almost had to force himself not to say “tomato soup”, fully aware that this was not the time to be cracking jokes.

 Jude hesitated, desperately wanting to accept, but he was nervous to. “I, um, I’m fine. Besides, wouldn’t Julius and Elle be there? I don’t want to intrude…”

 Ludger shook his head quickly, “No, um, the two of them are out for the evening, and I doubt Rollo would mind.” Ludger grinned at his own joke, smile fading quickly.

 Jude coughed quietly before looking back up to Ludger, certain that he’d be able to see him blushing if they weren’t hidden in shadows. “Well, um, if you… if you insist.”

 Ludger could feel his mouth going dry, beginning to feel sweat on his neck despite the chilly temperature. “A-alright, then, um…”

 At Ludger’s lead, the two of them set out walking quietly, snow swirling around them. Jude had become rather fixated on Ludger’s hand, debating between whether he should curl his own hand around it, or if he should just stop trying to pull Ludger into the silly crush he had. As a result, their walk was very much without conversation.

 They made it to the apartment complex without incident, be that fortunate or not. Without a word, the two of them made their way up the apartment, each wallowing in their own regrets about how awkward this night had ended up.

 Clearing his throat, Ludger permeated the silence with a small “Uh, we’re here.” The moment he said it he felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him, considering this certainly wasn’t the first time Jude had been here, and he no doubt already knew which door was his. Palms sticking with sweat, he unlocked the door hurriedly and let Jude in first, who mumbled a very quiet thanks as Ludger followed him in and allowed the door to shut itself as he moved over to the kitchen to busy himself.

 Jude stood there in the entranceway for a few moments, uncertain as to what to do before he remembered that Ludger’s coat was still piled on his shoulders. His face going a bit red, he quickly pulled it off – ignoring the nagging feeling that told him he’d much rather keep it on – and hung it quietly on the coat rack beside him. Tentatively, he made his way over to take a seat on the couch.

 Watching Ludger’s back as he made the tea, he was hit with the sudden realization that he was alone with the man he’d been pining over for the past few weeks, in said man’s _apartment_. On Valentine’s Day, no less. He could feel his cheeks flush, but he brushed the thought away as Ludger returned with two hot mugs, thanking Ludger for the one he was given.

 Ludger sat down stiffly a few feet away from Jude, secretly wishing he’d the courage to sit closer to him. As the two of them blew on their drinks, Ludger suddenly spoke up.

 “Oh, um, I’m sorry, I forgot to ask what kind of tea you liked…” He looked up at Jude, eyes wide and apologetic, “U-um, if you don’t like black, I could make you something else? I’m sorry,” He repeated the apology, silently cursing himself for making such a rude mistake.

 Jude waved his free hand in front of his face, tone insistent. “N-no, no, it’s fine! I’m quite fond of black tea,” He paused, continuing before the silence could settle again. “…Although, my favourite is probably just plain green. Kinda boring, huh?” He supplied a forced chuckle, taking a sip as he watched Ludger turn to stare into his drink.

 “Oh… That’s the same as Julius, then.” He smiled softly, caught up in his thoughts for a few moments.

 Jude could feel his face redden as he watched Ludger smile, eyes widening somewhat as he was struck by how _cute_ Ludger is. He takes another sip of tea to calm his nerves, Ludger doing the same, before the two of them placed their drinks on the table.

 After a few long moments of silence, Jude had made up his mind. Gulping quietly, he silently shuffled closer to Ludger, closing most of the gap between them.

 “Er, Ludger?” Jude’s throat felt dry, and he certainly hoped that his voice didn’t sound as raspy as it felt.

 “Hmm, yeah, what is it?” Ludger turned to look at Jude, pulled out of his thoughts. With a slight jolt, he realized just how _close_ Jude was when he turned to look at him, wondering how he hadn’t noticed Jude move in closer, but he certainly wasn’t about to say anything about it. In fact, that nagging voice in the back of his mind told him that they were practically close enough that he could lean in for a kiss…

 …Which was exactly what Jude did.

 Before Ludger could react, Jude had leaned in, a hand curling around the back of Ludger’s head and gently flattening his hair as he pulled Ludger closer. Their lips connected sloppily, which was to be expected. Ludger’s eyes widened at the sudden move, Jude’s already closed. Ludger began to relax after a few moments, swept up in the moment. It didn’t take long before Jude pulled back suddenly, his entire face red as he sprang to his feet.

 “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry!” He yelled out frantic apologies as he backed away in a panic, Ludger getting up slowly to follow him as he turned and began walking to the doorway, eyes scrunched shut. It was a miracle he didn't bump into anything, considering he couldn't even see where he was going. “I-I don’t know what I was thinking! I’m so sorry, Ludger! I didn’t mean to–“ Jude stopped. He didn’t mean to… _what_? He certainly meant to kiss him, that much was certain. Maybe what he didn’t mean to do was pull Ludger into all this, without even having the sense to ask first. Regardless of the reason, guilt was swallowing him whole. He felt awful, he felt awful, he felt–

 He felt a hand on his shoulder, and with a jump he realized it was Ludger, who’d followed and caught up to him before he could even reach for the door handle. Before Jude quite knew what was happening, he felt Ludger spinning him around, not even being given the chance to look at him before he was met with Ludger’s lips smashing painfully against his own. It didn’t last very long, not even as long as the first one, Ludger pulling back to stare somewhat fearfully into Jude’s startled eyes. After a few moments of staring at one another, Jude relaxed and he closed his eyes, leaning back in for what would still be a sloppy kiss, but it was certainly the most composed one they’d managed yet. After a few moments where neither knew quite what to do with their hands, Jude curled his around Ludger’s head and neck, Ludger wrapping his around Jude’s waist and pulling him in closer.

 The two of them stood there together for a long while before Jude pulled back slowly. For a few seconds, he seemed a little out of sorts, before suddenly smiling widely, even going as far as a small laugh. Ludger looked more confused, maybe even offended, than anything as he pulled his hands away and let Jude go. This prompted Jude to look back up to Ludger and notice the visibly hurt expression on his face, hurrying to explain himself.

 “O-oh, well, I was just… All this time, these past few-- actually, who _knows_ how long - I was so worried about all… all this, but now I guess that was a pretty silly thing to stress over, huh?” He laughed again, the anxiety he’d been feeling finally washing away. After a few surprised moments of staring at Jude, Ludger couldn’t help but laugh himself.

 The two of them broke away after they’d finally stopped, standing there awkwardly for a few moments. The serious look had returned to Jude’s face as he made a small motion toward the door and spoke quietly.

 “U-um, so, should I…?” He bit his lip, staring hopefully at Ludger.

 Ludger frowned at him, shaking his head. “No, of course not. It’d be cruel to put my new boyfriend out on a cold, snowy Valentines evening,” He paused, placing a hand on Jude’s shoulder. Jude felt his heart swell at the affectionate term, heart beating quickly as he finally processed that this was _real_ and it had just happened a few moments ago. Ludger continued, “I’m sure Julius and Elle wouldn’t mind if you stayed the night…” He trailed off, pretty sure that Julius had been  _encouraging_ him to have Jude stay the night.

 After a brief moment’s pause, Jude smiled softly and pulled himself away from the door, certainly not looking to dispute this. Moving his hand down Jude's arm from his shoulder to his hand, Ludger turned and walked slowly back to the couch, Jude trailing along behind him.

 They settled back into the couch, sitting beside one another as they picked their mugs back up and began to tell excited stories about how they’d each been plagued with what now seemed like a ridiculous anxiety over all of this, and how Jude was pretty sure that Leia and Alvin had been placing bets on the two of them, both grinning at the stories they exchanged. At long last, the dreadful silence that had hung over them all evening had disappeared to be replaced by something lighter, happier.

 After a long time spent talking, the discovery - and subsequent demolition - of a box of chocolates it seemed that Julius had bought and stashed away for someone, and a few refills of their tea, the two of them fell asleep beside one another.

 An hour or so later, Julius and Elle returned from their evening out. Julius’s original plan had been for the two of them to stay out late enough that Elle would be sound asleep when they returned to whatever awaited, or didn’t, at their apartment, but unfortunately for him the towering desserts he’d let her order had kept her awake the whole way through. It was his own fault for not stopping her, he sighed.

 As they made it to the door, Julius stopped Elle before she could open it up, telling her that Ludger might be in there. She certainly had no idea of what he meant, but she was beginning to feel sleepy, and didn’t have the energy left in her to argue.

 Quietly, Julius knocked on the door a few times, softly calling out Ludger’s name. Of course, there was no response, and after a few moments hesitation Julius carefully opened the door a crack. Although he could barely even see the main room, it was easy to see the couple sound asleep together on the couch, to which Julius reacted with a soft smile as he opened the door wide enough for Elle to finally enter, shutting it quietly behind them and urging her to stay quiet.

 As they tiptoed across the living area to her room, Elle snuck a peek at the two on the couch. She stuck out her tongue in an exaggerated expression of disgust and accompanied it with a quiet “Eww!”, giggling as Julius led her to her room.

 After Julius had managed to put Elle to bed, which didn’t take very long considering she had already started to fall asleep on her feet, he returned to the main room. Tiptoeing his way back across, he grabbed a large blanket and quietly skirted around the coffee table. He stopped a foot or two away from the two of them, looking at them carefully.

 Really, he couldn’t blame Elle for making faces at them. The two of them seemed rather like they’d fallen asleep without really meaning to, since they were both still seated mostly upright. Ludger was snoring, but that was no real surprise. Jude had curled up against him, his head laying in the crook of Ludger’s neck as he slept quietly, a small smile fixed on his face. Their arms were even wrapped around one another, clinging loosely.

 Julius sighed, smiling again as he draped the blanket over the two of them. He grabbed the empty mugs and box of chocolates - he sighed wistfully, regretting not hiding it any better - off the table, leaving them alone before he could disturb either. After quietly depositing the mugs in the sink, tossing the box, and double-checking that the door was locked, he gave one last smile as he looked across the room.

 After a small pause, Julius quietly headed to his own bed, flicking off the apartment lights on the way.

**Author's Note:**

> * alvin and leia were bickering over whether or not their bet counted if it was accidental. leia made a strong pitch, but in the end alvin kept the gald. they ended up making another bet about whether the date would end with them actually getting together.  
> later, when news of their hook-up spread, leia won back her thousand gald.


End file.
